Fungus Mungus' Weird Stuff in Japan

Farewell

2007-06-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

OK, so the last time I updated this blog was over a year ago. My how time files. I moved from Japan back to central California on August 2006. Things have been quite a whirlwind for me, so this blog dropped from the horizon. Sorry about that folks.

Since I'm not in Japan to witness the weirdness first-hand, I've decided to close out this blog. If I find myself across the shores again, I'll be delighed to open this up again and pick up where I left off.

Cheers,

Fungus

Would-be thief breaks into Sumo House

2006-03-31T00:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, there are stupid people in Japan too. Here's proof:

On March 31, at 2:35 am, would-be thief Konoshin Kawabata broke into a temple. He failed to notice the notice posted on the temple door indicating that it was being used as a sumo training facilty. When he entered the temple, he awoke the slumbering wrestlers in the neighboring room. The lights came on and 48-year-old Kawabata found himself encircled by 20 sumo wrestlers. After 35-year-old Dewanosato applied one of his Sumo "waza" (techniques), disabling Mr. Kawabata, another sumo called the police.

Dewanosato had a 2-win/5-loss record. This morning marked his 3rd win.

If you can read Japanese, you can see the original story here.

The Perfect Gift...

2006-02-23T04:52:00.000-08:00

In such a homogenous place as Japan, every town and hamlet in Japan tries to have a specialty, hoping it will make it different from other places. It may be a special kind of pottery or craft. Or it may be some kind of food item, usually a snack. When people travel, they are expected to bring back omiyage (souvenirs) to the office or family. Omiyage items are usually for sale in and around train stations, and even on the bullet trains, so even the most forgetful traveler has ample opportunity to buy something for the folks back home. Perhaps I'm a little cynical, but I have found most of the food omiyage I've received to tastes about the same. But every once in awhile, I find something really different:

I found this while looking for Christmas gifts for my family back home. While many people consider salmon bones a nuisance, something to pick your way through while trying to enjoy a nice filet of salmon, apparently the residents of the city of Miyako consider them a delicacy. There are 6 bones in every box!

So I did find the perfect Christmas gift...for my Mom's cat. Now, I wonder what they do with the rest of the fish?

Big Mouth+Small Face=Beautiful!

2006-02-10T00:04:00.000-08:00

From another page of the Annals of Japanese Quackery, I present

The Slim Mouth Piece

Despite it's misleading name, this gadget is supposed to make your mouth bigger, not smaller. BIGGER? Yes, bigger. Who on earth would want this? Well, the theory is that if you widen your mouth, you will have the appearance of a small face, so prized by the Japanese.

Apparently, this device comes in regular, small, and large sizes so no matter what size your face is, you can have the mouth of your dreams! Now, that is weird!

Small Face

2006-01-22T03:12:00.000-08:00

In the west, we obsess over having small bodies. There, thin will probably always be in, but in Japan, where many people already have thin bodies, having a chiisai kao, or small face, is a prized attribute. Most of the JPOP idols, many lacking talent, at least have "small faces".

I ran across this little device that is supposed to help the girl achieve the small face of her dreams. Behold, I give you the:

Ofuro de Kogao

Literally meaning "small face in the bath", this nifty little device is designed to be worn in the bath. It supposedly slims your face, giving you that pixish face such as those sported by Ayumi Hamasaki (see my blog post on the Ayumi Van in a previous blog post). I think if small faces make it big in the west, they should market this product as Kogao de Jason.

Sorry for the absense

2006-01-22T03:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been more than 3 months since my last entry. Looks like I have some catching up to do. In my defense, I have been busy with preparations for my wedding, so blogging has had to be set aside to make sure things went smoothly in that department. I've got some more goodies to go up in the next day so please check back.

fm

Hanging out

2005-09-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

Japan is so closely associated with hi-tech that it's easy to forget that Japan has its fair share of unusual wildlife. Many people never see it because it rarely ventures into the cities.

The other day, we were driving to Kakunodate, an old samurai village in Akita Prefecture, when we saw this guy climbing up the railing of an overpass. He then proceeded to hang out, watching the traffic go by. I guess mountain life was getting too boring for him, so he came down to see what rest of us monkeys were up to.

I made the driver stop the car so I could get out and capture this rare moment.

Tasty Snack, Unsavory Name

2005-08-26T04:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I can't believe the things I find on the grocery store shelves in Japan. Believe it or not, these little bite-sized puffs of goodness are quite tasty if you get past the name. And the fact that they do resemble their name (though mispelled).

Afro-dog

2005-07-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

What could be more fun than a tiny toy dog with a tiny afro?

Many thanks for Sanrio for making this posting possible!

Traffic Mannquin

2005-04-16T03:04:00.000-07:00

The economy still sucks here in Japan. It's even hit the construction sector, where you could always count on the guy waving his glowing wand in a construction zone, signalling cars that it's OK to go now. Here's his replacement:

The interesting thing is how the arms move up and down as if he's doing jumping-jacks, waving the wand in an effort to slow drivers in construction zones.

Here's one that can't do jumping-jacks yet:

He's like the army men I used to have as a kid. The ones who I turned into "casualty victims" by "blowing off" their arms. Only a lot bigger.

Woody Pot

2005-04-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

It makes my day when I go shopping and run into gems like this:

I guess you keep your woody in there.

Comburnable?

2005-03-24T17:17:00.000-08:00

With a population of half of the U.S. crammed into an area approximately the size of California, landfill space in Japan is at a premium. As a result, Japan is obsessed with the separation of "burnable garbage" (moeru gomi) from "non-burnable garbage" (moenai gomi). Most communities have very strict laws regarding the separation of your garbage. You must put your waste in clear bags, often marking them with your name. If you mix a "non-burnable" item with "burnable garbage", a nasty little note gets stuck on it and it's left for you to deal with.

This obsession extends into restaurants as well. This photo was taken at a Starbucks in Akita City in Northern Japan. This is where you separate your burnable and non-burnable waste. You can see that they mixed the words "combustable" and "burnable" up to make an amusing bit of Engrish that would make G.W. Bush proud.

A Shredder of the Hand

2005-03-17T17:14:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been almost a month with no updates. Sorry about that. I got a little busy with things.

Here's an amusing little bit of Engrish I ran into a few months ago. For those who want to rid themselves of their useless appendages, I give you...

THE HAND SHREDDER!

The only problem is once you've shredded one hand, you can't shred the other one! They need to come out with an automatic hand-shredder.

Since 2004...

2005-02-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I find this funny. Perhaps the fact that less than 1 year is considered "established" for a business in Japan?

Geek Tupperware

2005-01-27T02:55:00.000-08:00

Japan is a land of products with strange names. Companies will often use an English-sounding name for their products because it's chic. Store shelves are littered with products with packaging that have odd, and often amusing English. This phenomenon is known as Engrish. In fact, there is a web site devoted to Engrish.

I ran to Homac (a home/DIY store) to buy a food storage container for some salsa I had just made and ran this little gem:

Every self-respecting geek should have one in his/her kitchen. I bought it immediately, of course.

I wonder what SCO would think?

Even Monkeys Fall out of Trees

2005-01-24T21:30:00.000-08:00

This isn't so much a weird story as it is a mildly amusing one. At least, I think it is.

The other day, my girlfriend was practicing Shodo (Japanese calligraphy). She holds a 6th dan level in shodo, so I consider her an expert. She was writing the Japanese proverb 七転八起 (Shichi Ten hakki), which means "Fall down 7 times, rise the 8th time.". In other words, "Try and tray again". It's a nice proverb.

While looking up the kanji in the dictionary to verify it, as she often does before she commits anything to rice paper, she inadvertently glanced at the entry directly below the one she looked up. Thus, she commited 七転八倒 to paper.

It was beautiful.

She looked at it for a moment and then a look of confusion spread across her face. Then she consulted her dictionary again. Confusion gave way to amusement and the next thing I knew, she was rolling on the floor laughing until tears came streaming down her face. 七転八倒 (Shichi Ten batto) means "writhing in agony". One kanji made all the difference.

This brings to mind another Japanese proverb I rather like: 猿も木から落ちる (Saru mo ki kara ochiru). It means "Even monkeys fall out of trees", which I will leave for you to figure out.

Cigarette Placebo

2005-01-17T22:40:00.000-08:00

Since I've moved to Japan, I was taken by surprise by how wide-spread smoking is. It's still OK to smoke in public buildings, restaurants, and even schools. This is slowly changing...the school system I work for is going to forbid smoking in schools and city offices this April. There are going to be a lot of grumpy teachers and salarymen come April. It looks like there's a company that's ready to capitalize on this.

I was checking out at a drug store the other day when this caught my attention:

It's a nicotine inhaler, which is nothing really new. But the wacky thing about this one is that it's designed to look just like a lit cigarette, complete with the ash at the end. So this isn't just something you take a toke on when no one is looking. No...you're supposed to flash it about and look sophisticated, just like the real thing. It comes with 3 replaceable mint-flavored nicotine cartridges.

Whatever it takes to look cool.

Son of Mobile Ayumi Shrine

2005-01-13T04:40:00.000-08:00

First, I'd like to apologize for being a little lax in keeping my blog up to date. I'd blame it on the holidays, but frankly, with my family thousands of miles away, I have more free time during the holidays than any other time of year. I'll make a resolution to keep my blog up to...wait...no, nobody ever keeps resolutions anyway, so why don't I just get on with my next entry.

I was doing some mindless window shopping in a mall toy store when something wonderful caught my eye. When I first saw it, I thought I was seeing things. But no.

There it was. Nestled among a scale Ferrari Testarossa, Lambourghini Jota SVR, and several Bitcharger mini R/C cars. A scale replica of the very van that I photographed and featured here last month. Don't believe me? Take a look:

This R/C beauty features the same flares, outrageous wings, and Broadway-stage sized bumper of it's big brother. Not only that, the back hatch opens to reveal a realistic subwoofer system that promises to annoy the piss out of Barbie's Dream House residents blocks away. The really bizarre thing is the color. It's spot on. And all this for only $100.

The only thing it's missing is the mural of Japan's favorite J-Pop singer. But hey, anybody that can drop 100 bills on that R/C super-van surely can drop the dough for a color inkjet printer and decal film to remedy this regrettable omission.

Placing an Order on the Phone: a Study in Keigo Hell

2004-12-26T16:44:00.000-08:00

As if Japanese grammar isn't hard enough, it's made even worse by the use of various politeness levels in speech. When you come to Japan with a bit of Japanese under your belt, you'd think you can order something on the phone. Don't be so sure. Enter Keigo.

Keigo is a super-polite level of speech that is used by salaried workers (salaryman) and shop owners throughout Japan. The theory behind keigo is that you speak to people based on your social position in relation to others. For example, if you are talking to your boss, you would use a humble form of speech when referring to yourself while using an honorific form when referring to him or her. Shop keepers always use a humble form of speech when addressing customers because customers are god to them. That's keigo in it's simplest form, though it can get much more complicated than that. The first time I encountered it, I was at a complete loss. It still throws me from time to time.

So I just got off the phone from ordering kerosene. The conversation went like this:

Fungus: Uh...I'd like to order some kerosene but...

Shop: I understand. Where is your honorable address?

Fungus: Uh...it's in New Town, uh...10-9. #202...no, that's
wrong...New Town 10-9. God-Happiness Heights #202. Second floor.

Shop: So let me verify that. New Town 10-9, God Happiness
Heights #202, right?

Fungus: Yes, that's right.

Shop: Please forgive our rudeness for asking your honorable name...

Fungus: Fungus Mungus

Shop: How many honorable tanks?

Fungus: ? Oh! Um...2 containers

Shop: OK, will you be using cash?

Fungus: Yes.

Shop: OK, humble we will take care of it.

Fungus: Wait...umm...I won't be home until 7pm. Can you collect
payment after 7pm?

Shop: If you would please honorably wait a moment...

Fungus: ...

Shop: Please forgive my rudeness (for making you wait). Do you know
where our humble store exists?

Fungus: Yes.

Shop: Then if you would be so kind as to honorably
visit our humble store and honorably pay us then, we would
be humbly grateful.

Fungus: OK, is it alright if I come at noon and you just fill the containers
when you have time?

Shop: Yes. Where do your containers exist now?

Fungus: Uh...

Shop: Inside your honorable house?

Fungus: No, that's wrong...they're uh...

Shop: Outside your honorable house?

Fungus: Yes, that's right.

Shop: I understand. We will fill your containers and you can
pay humble us at noon.

Fungus: Thank you.

Shop: We offer our humble thanks. Please excuse our
rudeness (as we are going to hang up now).

Fungus: Uh...thanks.

Mobile Ayumi Shrine

2004-12-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

In the US, seeing a Honda or Mitsubishi dressed up with fender flares, ground

effects, and wings is a fairly common sight. I expected the same in Japan, but

I wasn't prepared for the truly bizarre creations I was to encounter.



To wit, one of the 2 elusive mobile shrines to the JPOP singer Ayumi

Hamasaki in Kamaishi.









Ayumi Hamasaki, if you're not familiar with her, is one of the

most popular JPOP singers in Japan. Although her popularity is waning somewhat,

she is often seen on commercials and billboards throughout Japan. She is known

for her "big eyes" and "small face",  traits that are highly admired in Japan.



The other day while I was shopping, I was fortunate enough to spot this.

The fact that this is a VAN is enough for comment, but the wing on the back

simply takes your breath away. The secondary wing is really helpful to keep the

vehicle from floating when blazing along the expressway at

80 KPH. It also does a lot to accent the menacing look of the vehicle. 



The bumper on the back, you may have noticed, extends

about 1/2 meter or so out, apparently to accommodate the

dancing girls. I haven't seen dancing girls on one of these

yet. The paint job...well, I won't comment on the color, but

the gorgeous mural of Ayumi on the back is inspiring to

drivers behind him. They often follow him for several blocks,

so captivating is her image. Completing the look is the set of

4 shopping car wheels, HID lights, and 3 grill-mounted lamps, the utility

of which eludes me.



I wanted to get a closer look at the interior, but to be quite honest, the

vehicle is so intimidating, I was afraid to get any closer.



There is a white one like this in Kamaishi as well, but I haven't encountered

the elusive beast. Call it my Moby Dick. 



The guy in the picture, btw, is the driver of this monstrosity. He has my everlasting

thanks for providing me with fodder for my BLOG.

Welcome!

2004-12-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my BLOG! I moved to the town of Kamaishi, located

in Iwate Prefecture in northeastern Japan, in the summer of 2003.

Having lived in Japan now for 1-1/2 years, I've decided it's

high time that I document some of the crazy things I see from

day to day. I hope you enjoy what you see. Please feel free to

leave comments on my entries.